It was not the best weather to start my first day at work, honestly. Had life rolled on preferences, I'd have chosen to keep drifting somewhere in between my consciousness and unconsciousness. It was 08h00 and I literally dragged myself to work. No, it wasn't an OoLala moment for me. I wasn't excited at all. I didn't know the reason, though.
All my team members gathered in the coffee room, and I simply followed. The awkwardness had already begun. The first female backend developer in the team/company. The shortest one, the most casually dressed up one. I never noticed the latter until my first sip of coffee.
"So, how do you like our company?", asked a mid-aged person beside me, devouring a cupcake all at once. Not the best question that I expected, really but I reciprocated with a smile and answered as he pleased.
"We heard that you've been hired as a Python developer. How much do you know about it? What projects have you done before?" asked the next one. He was my team lead, later I was mentioned about. To answer his question, I started recalling my first attempt to write a small function in Python. And everything that I said after just slipped through in a jabber, not because I chose to, but because I got distracted so much by his sudden bizarre expression, his eyes fixed at something on the ground. Something caused him an ugh, really. I anxiously followed his glance and failed to contemplate anything that could have ridiculed him. I am pretty sure that he overheard everything that I said. Although, my appearance started to bother me a little bit. Every 2 hours I'd go to the toilet to check my shoes, and hair. I was in my favourite Nike sports shoes. The following week I realised how sports shoes were enough to convey so much and yet so little about someone. Everyone there seemed like groomsmen everyday, the women-I barely noticed any around.
Alex, my only Dutch friend then, became a victim of my wardrobe malfunction. He'd give me suggestions to look professional, accompanied me to shop even. Trivial. All in vain. I never felt so insecure about my appearance ever before. Lately, did I realise how trivial it was to even bother about the considerations of corporate protocols that led me underrate my own self. Nevertheless, it always cracks me up to think about the circumstances that perplexed my priorities at work.
This was my second confrontation with the dumb corporate culture that so strongly cultivates and enforces certain etiquettes within the system that, to a certain degree, widens the gap between the workforce and their individuality.
I dressed up very professionally at the second company(and my current employer) on the first day. What a troll ! No one cared. But that's much better than having to care. It was winter. The streets were heavily covered with snow. Several layers of cloths on my body somehow covered up the flaws, though.
Nevertheless, I hardly remember if there were moments of embarrassment due to my punctured sense of style here. What a luxury it was, indeed, to know that my Nike or Puma or even unbranded flipflops were of no concern to nobody. There was enough room to focus on things that mattered to me as a person. I was content to acknowledge my little experience and thrived to learn more. That's something I hold the deepest respect for in ones' being. Knowledge. I am glad I felt like home once again, and this time somewhere far far away from where I was raised.
All my team members gathered in the coffee room, and I simply followed. The awkwardness had already begun. The first female backend developer in the team/company. The shortest one, the most casually dressed up one. I never noticed the latter until my first sip of coffee.
"So, how do you like our company?", asked a mid-aged person beside me, devouring a cupcake all at once. Not the best question that I expected, really but I reciprocated with a smile and answered as he pleased.
"We heard that you've been hired as a Python developer. How much do you know about it? What projects have you done before?" asked the next one. He was my team lead, later I was mentioned about. To answer his question, I started recalling my first attempt to write a small function in Python. And everything that I said after just slipped through in a jabber, not because I chose to, but because I got distracted so much by his sudden bizarre expression, his eyes fixed at something on the ground. Something caused him an ugh, really. I anxiously followed his glance and failed to contemplate anything that could have ridiculed him. I am pretty sure that he overheard everything that I said. Although, my appearance started to bother me a little bit. Every 2 hours I'd go to the toilet to check my shoes, and hair. I was in my favourite Nike sports shoes. The following week I realised how sports shoes were enough to convey so much and yet so little about someone. Everyone there seemed like groomsmen everyday, the women-I barely noticed any around.
Alex, my only Dutch friend then, became a victim of my wardrobe malfunction. He'd give me suggestions to look professional, accompanied me to shop even. Trivial. All in vain. I never felt so insecure about my appearance ever before. Lately, did I realise how trivial it was to even bother about the considerations of corporate protocols that led me underrate my own self. Nevertheless, it always cracks me up to think about the circumstances that perplexed my priorities at work.
This was my second confrontation with the dumb corporate culture that so strongly cultivates and enforces certain etiquettes within the system that, to a certain degree, widens the gap between the workforce and their individuality.
I dressed up very professionally at the second company(and my current employer) on the first day. What a troll ! No one cared. But that's much better than having to care. It was winter. The streets were heavily covered with snow. Several layers of cloths on my body somehow covered up the flaws, though.
Nevertheless, I hardly remember if there were moments of embarrassment due to my punctured sense of style here. What a luxury it was, indeed, to know that my Nike or Puma or even unbranded flipflops were of no concern to nobody. There was enough room to focus on things that mattered to me as a person. I was content to acknowledge my little experience and thrived to learn more. That's something I hold the deepest respect for in ones' being. Knowledge. I am glad I felt like home once again, and this time somewhere far far away from where I was raised.
